The Making of an Angel
by alirodina
Summary: why did kaworu regard death as the sole freedom there is?


Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Making of an Angel

Author's Note: This is not mine. I could never make Shinji the wimp he is and still like him. It's been a while since I saw the series and when somebody at home brought the OAV cd and made me watch… I rediscovered a character that I have not paid the rightful homage to. And I pay it now. Too bad he died. I never really understood why. Perhaps this fic was written to explain it. I hope that it will keep to the original disturbing feeling permeating the series and the movie. Shalom.

Her hand touched the glass almost gingerly.

" Fusion complete?" she checked to see if everything is working as it should.

" Fusion complete, Dr. Nagisa." Mizuno Yuki smiled, handling her the clipboard of all the data gathered by the team. " As of now, the seventeenth is in our hands."

" SEELE would be so pleased."

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" We thank you for services rendered, Dr. Nagisa."

She was standing in the middle of the dark room, surrounded by SEELE officials. " It was nothing. The team did their best."

" we have decided to relinquish you your position."

She got angry at that. " But the research team, they are nothing without me!"

" They won't need you anymore. The seventeenth is in our hands."

" B – but how can you think you can leave this project unfinished…"

" We can do without your services however. Have a nice day, Dr. Nagisa."

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Conversation in a café after the news of the Second Impact made front page in thousands of newspapers throughout Japan:

" Have you heard? The second had occurred. Had they failed to think of turning Adam back into an egg, the whole world would have been affected. Disastrous."

The other woman smiled as she sipped her coffee slowly. " SEELE had been a little late with their plans, right?" she said, softly. " That was the day the seventeenth was born."

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" We need you."

" That is not like SEELE at all, to relinquish me my position only to return it when hands are short."

" The seventeenth needs you, Dr. Nagisa."

" I am the fool."

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She felt a certain kind of peace, however as she held the child in her arms. " What is his name?"

Mitsui Hotaru smiled. Her heart smote her. He was so like Yuki. So like her Yuki. Yuki who died in the impact with everyone else. " We have decided to call him after his mother: Nagisa!"

She laughed. " Is development according to normal?"

" Yes."

" Thank God." She said, feelingly. The rest laughed, for it was also a joke.

" You can name him. Give him his first name." Hotaru said.

She smiled at his sleeping face. " I will name him Kaworu." She said. " My fragrant seashore."

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He grew up like any other child. That is, almost. She had always thought that she needed companionship. Her mind needed another to converse with, as it is with all Lillims. He walks with her often as she made her rounds around the lab. And that was the time they would usually talk.

" Do you believe that beings, every incident, everything is connected to each other?"

He would usually just smile. Not a sweet smile, for he was not that kind of kid. But it was so that you cannot help but love him. Though, strictly speaking, she was not related to him, she saw herself in him. Which was absurd. She was not that winning a soul.

" Everything is interrelated. Even small things are connected to big things."

" Are they? Was it my destiny to meet you, Umi?" she had taught him to call her by her name. That seemed to breach the abyss of difference between them. She had not even a thread of reason to tie herself to him. She was only his maker. She had taken a mortal and made him divine. Was that tie enough?

" It was my destiny to meet you Kaworu." She smiled, as she always did whenever she lets his name pass her lips. " Although you have been born to meet someone else."

" If I die – before I meet him." He said quietly.

" it is possible that you will be alone." But something pricked her heart as she said that. Her angel… alone! " Eve if people surround you. Even if you have a lot of friends. You are alone, because you know that in that mass of people, no one is made for you."

" What is it like, being alone?"

" Are you never alone?" she smiled as he failed to answer. " I guess it means that no one is with you, but…"

" But everyone is alone. Because no one can ever be you."

She liked the simplicity of how he put it. " No one. All are unique. All are alone."

He sighed. " If I don't meet the one, I would be more lonely than when I started out."

" Not necessarily." She said, sadly but also wistfully. " Death will free us from loneliness. It is then, after we die that our spirits will be one."

" So death is the freedom from loneliness." he said, smiling again.

She thought she would cry.

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It was in one such stroll that SEELE came to confront her.

" You have filled the child's head with nonsense." They looked at Kaworu who was standing tranquilly beside her. Demure Kaworu.

" Death is the sole freedom! Bah! The seventeenth has but one goal – to return to his origin. Those of Adam should return to Adam."

She laughed. " The seventeenth is the Angel of Free Will. Only if Tibris wanted to will he become part of Adam."

" You failed us twice with your radical ideas, Dr. Nagisa."

" Kaworu," she turned to him, he was still smiling. " the sole freedom…"

She never got to finish the sentence. Red stained the metal floor.

Kaworu stood before her smiling. " Death."

Ai: well that's it. :: smiles:: hope it didn't put you to sleep. The words I have used have been overly simple. I don't know why. I didn't even put in the descriptions I do love. Anyway, all part of the fic I suppose.

kaworu's name had been written in katakana instead of the usual hiragana… so if his name had a meaning… I don't know it. The ' fragrant' that I used is the original meaning of Kaoru. Nagisa of course is seashore.


End file.
